My First Cricket Tea and Perfecting an Omelette!

Saturday 29th August 2015
11.30am

This morning has been productive.
I made my first ever cricket tea and it's bliming hard work. The time, the effort, the mathematics.

David had invented and prepared a variety of sandwich fillings. My glamorous job was to butter every slice of spongy, carby bread. By the third loaf, my soul was hurting and I still had another loaf to go! The third loaf was also when my concentration started to fail.... Resulting in mistakes! Who knew buttering bread would take so much intelligence out of me!

We were building a carb tower jungle in our kitchen!

Once I'd mastered the art of sandwiching, I turned my hand to omelette making!

Now, my last omelette wasn't very successful, it ended up a heap of cooked egg mangled up with various omelette filling. I was determined I was going to tackle this culinary obstacle. 

I chopped up mushrooms, tomatoes and ham- fried them up and then poured my whipped egg all over the pan. Just like I'd seen on TV.

It cooked beautifully. On one side. Everytime I tried to flip it, it broke!! They didn't explain how to cook the otherside on TV...

I was just about to give up when David, culinary mastermind that he is, informed me that I was attempting a 'Spanish Omelette ' and that I actually needed to grill the top half..... What a flipping genius he is!

(when re-reading through this- I realised my play on words! Haha!)

It turned out beautifully and I enjoyed my breakfast happily ever after.

Peace out, A town

Thrombophlebitis and Overpriced Medical Hosiery

Friday 28th August 2015

11.00am

So after my trip to ULCH on Wednesday, my leg decided to push its performance and go for an oscar- resulting in blacker, spreading bruising and lumps appearing up and down and all around the vein, like it's forming it's own tube map in my circulatory system!

After some encouragement from a colleague to see the doctor as recommended by the hospital, I finally made an appointment for this morning. 

By the time I walked in the doctors office, I'd managed to convince myself that it was probably nothing and my leg wasn't going to turn completely black and fall off!! 

That was until the doctor gave me my diagnosis.... Thrombophlebitis!! (I know, it sounds like a type of dinosaur! Haha!)

Thrombophlebitis is the inflammation of the vein that's infected and blocked by a blood clot....seeeexyyyy right!?

You know what's sexier??

This bad boy!!! ;

Naaaaawt. 

A compression stocking. You say 'stocking' and think slinky little hosiery...add the word compression which sounds like depression and it takes a whole mental shift! 

Just getting the stupid (it's actually quite vital to my recovery but it's still stupid) thing was a bit of a fiasco.

I asked for one whilst ordering my antibiotics and got bombarded with a million decision making questions- do I have a prescription? What length? What class of compression? What size? What colour? What brand? Do I want covered toe or open toe?

Jeez..  Just a really ugly, irritating compression stocking please.

So then I was whipped into a side room, trousers down getting measured for an overpriced piece of medical hosiery and being informed that according to Scholl's size guide, I had very skinny ankles.... I suppose every cloud has a silver lining!

I then spent then next hour tracking a pharmacy that had my specifications in stock as apparently you have to order in advance, someone needs to tell my veins that I need more warning next time they decide to go all old lady on me!!

Now all I need to do is do as the doctor ordered...take my antibiotics every 6 hours, wear my stupid, overpriced stocking and keep my leg in the air!

Peace out, A town 

Pop Art Face Fun and Goodbye to Jess!

Thursday 26th August 2015
7.15pm

Today has been a fun and sad day!

I had my last commute to work with James, he's changing jobs and won't be dragging his sorry butt into London everyday! I'm going solo and will have to look after myself but I don't know who's going to entertain home on his commute now- probably some ageing DJ on radio one!

Then in work- I've been teaching my makeup class about the Pop-Art movement and Pop art makeup!

This is one of my favourite looks to teach because it's fun, colourful and takes practice and skill to create. I've been looking forward to teaching this lesson for months and the class have had a lot of fun with this- I even got my colleague, Sian, in to have a go:

Pretty fun- I got a few strange looks when I nipped out on my break but the clean up was alot less fun:

And then it was goodbye to the beautiful Jessica :-( she's leaving to have a small human she's been growing in her swelling tummy for the last 7months!

We had a lovely picnic in our table of love for her...

Now, for a walk home in the beautiful Lutonian sunset...

Peace out, A town

Not eating in the ULCH waiting room

Wednesday 26th August 2015
6.00pm

I've just got home from an afternoon sat in the waiting room of the University College London hospital and I'm starving!!

Due to some granny veins playing up on my leg today and causing me jip, I ended up calling 111 and being sent to the hospital to get checked out. However, this trip to A&E happened to collide with lunch time! Pretty inconvenient...

I arrived at A&E about 1.30pm, already feeling pretty peckish but I was quickly seen for my initial assessment by a nurse before being sent to the next round- the urgent treatment centre. I was warned about the wait but I wasn't prepared for it!

An hour into my wait, my stomach started growling and the stomach acids started bubbling.... It was gone lunch time and my stomach was doing a pretty grand job of reminding me! I had lunch on me, except,  I didn't feel it was waiting room appropriate... I had chicken curry with pickled salad but not only did I feel the aromas were not appropriate but I also felt extremely conscious of eating my lunch in the waiting area of a hospital!

I had a rummage in my bag for other food items of interest and came up trumps with a bag of monster munch....
Smelly beef flavour!! Quickly wrote those off and continued my search.

Then, Mr.J.Evans, next to me- got his mate to fetch him lunch and then tucked into a pretty tasty looking panini whilst I wished I had brought so less flavoursome food that didn't smell quite so strongly!

(Btw, I know his name because he looked like someone from the apprentice so I tried to do some investigatory spy girl work but all I managed to do was peer over and see his email signature as he click-clacked away on his laptop!)

Anyway, back to my eating in a waiting room dilemma.

So eventually I found a really squashed, fake twix from Aldi's in the bottom of my backpack!
it was mega crumbly and messy to eat but at least it didn't smell.

By the time I was on a train home, I was feeling faint with hunger so finally whipped out my shaken up, smelly salad and tucked in!

I don't know why I felt it unacceptable in a hospital room but ok to do so on a train?!

So, next time I unexpectedly need to take a trip to the hospital, I'll make sure I take a detour to stock up on some non-smelly snacks!

Peace out, A town

Rain Rain Go Away

Tuesday 25th August 2015
7.00pm

Is summer over now then? The wet grey clouds are sending out a pretty strong signal that it is!

Thanks England, you can't even get the seasons right. It's STILL AUGUST and it's grey, it's wet, it's cold and it's making me miserable!!

I wish I could be the kind of person that likes singing in the rain, which I'm not- unless I've had copious amounts of sugar (pass me the Lucozade?!), then this weather would be a little more bearable.

Of course, there is a few other options to escape the English grey depression...

#1 Move abroad to a hot country.
Australia is the obvious choice, but I don't like that there are spiders in the toilets- I saw this on a video on Facebook once and it's scarred my brain ever since! Plus it's all fun and games being in a hot country everyday when you are just visiting but if I lived there, I would have to work and going to work in the boiling heat isn't ideal.

#2 A portable sun dome.
If I invented this, I could definitely go on dragons den. Then I would become a billionaire and wouldn't have to work so I could live abroad in the boiling heat and it wouldn't matter about going to work in the heat because I wouldn't need to work!!
So, this portable sun dome would basically be a bright heat lamp that didn't need plugging in or need batteries. You would wear a frame round your waist then it has a pole that comes up and curves over your head with a dome lamp on it, shining out all the sunny vitamins and happy light rays!

#3 A sunbed room
So, rather than a sunbed, it would be a room with tropical beach wallpaper and sun lamps on the ceiling. If you work in a building with lots of rooms, every room could be decked out with a different hot country wallpaper so you could feel like you were globetrotting at the same time... Maybe they could even have themed cocktails too!

#4 Hibernate
I like sleep second best to feeling the sunshine on my skin so this seems a reasonable idea...If I was a bear or a tortoise!
They've got it good, don't fancy this early change of season? Just hibernate! Yea, good one... If I wasn't a non-able-to-hibernate-human. Actually... Do all bears hibernate? I thought they did but I was a bear in a snowy mountain of TV once..?? (and it wasn't a polar bear!)

#5 Just give up
There's literally nothing we can do about it. Those that have emigrated here, tough cookies- you chose to move here,more fool you! Those of us that were born into this country can thank our parents for their excellent choice in climate for raising their offspring....naaaaaaaaawt!!

So. I have no other choice other than to get out my dry cosy chair on the train and walk the wet,miserable walk home!

Peace out, A town

Clowns

Monday 24th August 2015
10.30pm

Clowns. Who's stupid idea was this form of 'entertainment'?

They are creepy, depressing and not even funny. They can't do real magic tricks and they can't even give a real smile!

There are two types of Clowns.

There is the brighter coloured clown with clean clothes and neat makeup with perfectly permed hair.

Then there is the freaky, horror film clown with dirty, torn clothes and messily applied makeup that usually has frizzy, unruly hair.

See Exhibit A:

This bundle of joy is from American Horror Story, Season 4. I'm on the third episode and I don't know how I haven't managed to have a nightmare yet!!

Clowns completely freak me out! It can be any type of clown and this tightness completely overcomes me and I can't look them in the eye! I can't work out if it's their OTT makeup or fake happiness that gets me but I always think that there's going to be a creepy sound of laughter and their heads will start spinning round!!

I'm going to stick at American Horror Story, despite the whole clown theme going on though because it's such a great TV series!!

If you haven't seen it then get cracking!

Peace out,  A town

I Am Not A Mermaid.

Sunday 23rd August
6.30pm 

So after a morning of carbooting with my best friend Fay and then a lunch date with my darling boyfriend, I decided it was finally time to use my Intergalactic Lush Bath bomb that a student had bought me!

Yes, the time had come for me to drop the bomb of glittery, fragrant goodness into a steaming hot bath and squeal with delight as it fizzes about in my bath changing the bath water to all colours of the rainbow!

And that it did.

I dropped it in and watched in awe as it whizzed and fizzed, shooting around the bath tub! This is theeeeee best bath bomb I've had in a while...and Oh my gosh...the glitter!!!
So.much.glitter.
Imagine a shop as big as ikea but only sells glitter. That's how much glitter was in my bath bomb!

I waited for it to finish doing its thang, before sinking into the magical, mystical water.... but then I thought it would be fantastic to see what it looked like under the water! I wanted to feel like a mermaid!!

I am NOT a mermaid.

Nor could I even see under the water because it was so soapy it just stung my eyes and about a second after I took this photo, I came coughing and spluttering out of the bath with glittery water flying everywhere!! David came to my rescue with a can of ginger beer and a look of bewilderment on his face when I explained what I had tried to do but I'm pretty sure he would have tried it too...

So, if you do go out and purchase yourself an Intergalactic bath bomb because you think my bath looks pretty and you want yours to aswell, then please take this as a warning- use your bath bomb sensibly and leave the mermaidy stuff to Ariel!

Peace out, A town

Eating Snails and Helping the Homeless

Saturday 22nd August 2015 
9am

Last night David and I went for a lovely little date night. So, of course, we went to our favourite restaurant in the whole wide world...Steak Parisian!!!

Every visit to Steak Parisian is an experience. It's run by an eccentric French man and his assistant that has this great wooden trolley that she uses for everything! If I was a waitress, I would definitely have a trolley like hers- I really admire it! It's so beautiful- a bit antiquey. Its a good metre or so long and half a metre wide with a couple of shelves that she uses to display the deserts on offer at the end of the night. It's made of a lovely traditional wood and it's the perfect functional accessory for her.

Jean Claude (the eccentric French man) is the world's best steak chef. I don't actually think that statement is a true fact- it's more my opinion but it still stands. He speaks with a thick French accent, obviously- because he is a real French man, and comes out the kitchen regularly to talk to his diners and tells the silliest jokes which are made funny by his Frenchness!

So, let's get to the food- The French Onion soup is theeeeee best you can get. David and I always start with it because you really can't get it better anywhere else- Jean Claude makes it himself and it's so tasty- really onion-y and peppery and even the waitress was claiming it's the best you can get! I once tried French Onion soup from M&S and it was pants!!

But last night I decided to try something else with my soup.....

SNAILS!!!!

I felt like I was on 'I'm a Celebrity...'! It was a bit tricky to get them out their shells and I was worried that I would end up flicking them across the room but by the third one, I had it doooown!
To be honest though, I don't think I would have then again because although they were pretty meaty, they were a bit pointless really. They were boiled in extremely garlicky butter so that's all they tasted of!

We did get into a snail discussion with the waitress though because I was curious of the snails journey from life to my plate.
She informed me that the snails were not crawling around a giant tank in the back of their kitchen but they were actually bought frozen from the Chinese cash and carry down the road! Which leads me to wonder....is there a difference between Chinese snails and French snails? And did the snails in the Chinese shop actually come from China or have they come from the gardens of England? And can you eat any snails or is there different breeds of snails? If I picked some snails, could I sell them to restaurants? I could start up a little business on the side!

So, after we'd finished the world's best French Onion soup, we moved onto the main event....the steak!
I would normally have the venison but apparently it wasn't in season (I thought deers were around all time of year but I thought wrong it seems!) so I settled for the veal but still with sauce for the venison....Jean Claude must have found it a bit bizarre because he came out to tell me that I had the wrong sauce for the meat and he'd had to make it specially pour moi!

So then it was time to get the bill. This is where the experience was embraced.

The waitress offered us a free shot....herself and Jean Claude seemed like they really wanted us to have one so we accepted. Then she disappeared into the freezer and came back with a shot glass ice cube tray!

So there we all are, at the back of an empty restaurant, sat around the little bar- David, Jean Claude, the waitress and myself all trying to drink out of these melting, slippery, cold glasses as Jean Claude tells David how tall, dark and handsome he is and the waitress reassures Jean Claude that its ok that he is short because good things come in small packages.... And that's when we took our cue to leave...

We headed over to The Castle for a last drink before starting the walk home through the town. This is the point that we get stopped by a homeless guy wanting money for a shelter.

Normally I wouldn't give money but last night we were feeling happy and had all the time in the world so we stopped and chatted to this guy and listened to how he had come to this predicament.

His name was Alan, his father was called Sidney, he was 61 and his wife had died 18months ago. He had taken it hard and ended up losing his job as a Lorry driver.
Alan told us about feeling degraded when he was made to clean toilets at homeless centres that drug addicts and drunks had misused and abused and how living life on the streets was rough and he could see how easy it would be to give in to drugs and alcohol abuse just to numb it all.

Alan was different, he accepted that he had fallen on a hard time but he was going to see it through and relying on the kindness of strangers he would get back on his feet.

We gave Alan £13.60- all we had spare and his face was a picture. He couldn't thank us enough and I wished more than anything that I could have helped him more. Winter is coming and all he had was a bag with a few belongings and no coat. I really hope he found some shelter last night and uses the money we gave him to feed and clothe himself today....

Peace out, A town.

Good Samartian, Pastafarianism and TFL theft

Friday 21st August 2015
8.30am

I like to think I'm a nice kind of person. Actually, I am a nice person, mostly.

This past week, Lucozade have been giving out free bottles of (you've guessed it) Lucozade.
I've taken one everyday but as I discovered on Monday, it's very high in sugar so I've just been saving them in my fridge for when I have friends over!

But this morning was different... As usual, I got my free bottle but I overheard the guy in front of me ask for a second bottle for his pal at work as he didn't ever get one (for whatever reason) but they refused him and said he could only have one.

So, being the kind person I am- I caught up with him and gave him mine!

I like to think that he and his mysterious pal met up on Oxford Street and strolled to work drinking their ridiculously sugary free/donated Lucozades together...

12.30pm

I warn you, this is not a joke.
Whilst in the salon today, a client having her Mani/Pedi was telling us about her university paper she was writing....on Pastafarianism.

Pastafarianism is 'a social movement that promotes a lighthearted view in religion and opposes the teaching of intelligent design and creationism in public schools'

It's basically a carb based religion worshipping a flying spaghetti monster. I swear. I am not making this up!!

In America, if something is part of your religious beliefs, they have to allow it....

It is part of Pastafarian beliefs that they have to wear a collinder on their heads for official photos...passports, driving licences....
JUST GOOGLE IT IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME!!

It's so bizarre but I actually really love pasta (especially with some green pesto) so I'm considering converting...
(that's actually a joke, I wouldn't be seen dead worshipping a spaghetti monster!)

Please Google this...

6.30pm

Turns out I'm a thief. I just stole from TFL by mistake.

When zapping in with oyster, the gates slammed shut on my hand, crushing my metacarpals, but I squeezed on through and continued my tube ride on to St.Pancras.

When I tried to Zap through at the other end, my card wouldn't work and told me to top up so I asked for help and explained that my card had let me through but now wanted money from me! It kept flashing up 'seek assistance, top up needed'

The man quite clearly knew what had happened (which I swear was an honest mistake!) but let me through anyway.

Such a nice man!

Bet he'll be striking next week though.

Melon Madness!

Thursday 20th August 2015
7.30pm

I think I've hidden it pretty well. Some of my closest friends know about this. But, well...I'm an addict.

I am totally and utterly addicted to melon. Specifically-Honeydew melon!
Ive had at least half a melon,sometimes a whole melon everyday for the last four months!!

I can't help myself, I crave it's refreshing juiciness! I just want to sink my teeth into its yummy insides. I have to stop myself going back for the other half and heaven help me if Ive run out and can't buy one!!

This happened last night and I was gutted.

At the moment my favourite melon is from a little 7/11 shop, on Dallow Road, on my walk home.

So, knowing I was out of stock and would need my fix for the evening, I finished my regiment fitness session in Finsbury park and started my commute back to Luton with my melon almost in sight!

I got to Dallow Road about 8.15pm, money ready in my pocket... . Only to find the shop was shut! As was about every other little convenience shop with a fruit stall on Dallow Road! Clearly isn't a 7/11 shop!! What was I going to doooooo???! (it was also raining, literally putting a dampener on my mood!)

I soldiered on and tried to console myself when I luckily I stumbled upon a fruit stall man just starting to pack up! I was so happy, snapped up a couple of Melons to keep me going and skipped a little- the rain could do one! I had my melon!

However,once I got home, I discovered In my haste to purchase my addiction fuel- I had scooped up a bad,rotten, yucky melon! So in the bin that went and I just had to cut my loss.

Now, wait a minute- the story is not yet over!!

Obviously, due to the melon down that I am, I needed to stock up again this eve. So I stopped off at the fake 7/11 shop on my walk home and discovered an absolute treat.... The Melons were now only 99p!!!!

Bargaaaaaiiiiiin!!!

So chuffed.

I'm off to indulge my addiction...

Peace out, A town 

A Morning of Spillages

Thursday 20th August
11am
It's not even lunch time yet and already this morning has been a morning of spillages!

It all started off with my drink in the train.

As per usual, I couldn't get a seat on the 7.57 East Midland Train- So James (my dear friend/Train buddy) and I made ourselves comfortable outside first class.

I was quite content in my cramped little corner- on the floor, cosied up against the train door, head by the bin, with a lovely gale force draft coming up onto my right hand side, when it happened.

I couldnt stop it, I couldn't help it, I just had to let it go! My can of drink, that I had not-so-cleverly balanced on top of my backpack started to tip and I could see it happening, I just didn't seem to be able to stop it!

Encouraged by James, there was only one solution... I'd need to drink up the puddle of beverage that was pooling on my back bag! The option of mopping it up was cruelly taken away but the spillage incident as the tissues were inside the pocket with the liquid obstacle.

So what did I learn this morning?

I learnt that you must hold all canned beverages with both hands whilst commuting!

Peace out, A town

An Introduction....

Wednesday 19th August 2015

Well, after many suggestions by my amused friends of writing a book or keeping a diary of my daily trials and tribulations, I've settled on a blog diary!

You may or may not wish to read it but as we all know, I'm a 'sharer'. No matter how embarrassing or stupid my mishap, misjudgement or misadventure was- it's nice to have a giggle and in the words of Taylor Swift; 'just shake it off!'

Today wasn't too ditzventful (ditzy/eventful-pretty sure I've just created a new word there! #urbandictionaryeatyourheartout ) you'll be pleased to know. I managed to function, mostly, as a normal member of society.

I've learnt that Lucozade is NOT sugarfree after hitting an all time sugar high by lunch break after nabbing a couple of free bottles at Oxford Circus and sipping on them all morning!!

Actually, it's got a ridiculously high amount!

I only had one awkward moment when walking in on a male client going to the toilet (in the toilet luckily!) and ive managed to not walk into anything else!

Successful day if you ask me!

Peace out, A town.....